"Objections to Objectivism" needed several key revisions. I treated the post with a tone that was too familiar, so I cut that back, and also changed the title. Some of my blog posts are purposefully playful and easy going, but when I'm introducing a rather serious concept, and one that is important to me, I need to be sure I'm conveying that I take myself seriously, and so should my audience. I made some grammatical corrections as well.
This post stands out because of it's content. Atlas Shrugged is so influential that I can't avoid trying to share it with everyone I know. I hope you enjoy my feedback!
Cornfields
“Cornfields” speaks directly to my love for my childhood, something I consider one of the most important subjects to analyze and discuss. I adored my house, my yard, my room, my siblings, everything good and whole that makes innocence beautiful. In “Cornfields,” I tried to recapture that spark that we lose as we mature, when the horrors and pain of the world take over and that piece of us disappears somehow.
I went through the post and made some punctuation and font changes to add a little more style. I also added a picture of Caddie as I remember her on the cover of my wrinkled old copy; it brings her home. I inserted a small physical description of Caddie to contrast with the visual of myself in italics above it. This shows how we are not alike in appearance, but how our minds are connected and similar. I swapped some weak verbs for more powerful ones that convey more action, life, and adventure. I hope these revisions will increase the pull and charm of the post as I attempt to match the pull and charm of Caddie Woodlawn.
Stolen
I had a hard time revising this post because honestly, I thought most of it belonged. I made a couple changes in regards to grammar, punctuation, and word choice, but otherwise, the only other change is the last couple sentences in the bottom paragraph. I felt that I had more of a message to send. The idea that writing takes wing if you write about your passions has been completely ingrained in my brain at this point. Forced emotion fools no one, and you can tell when someone's words are powered by true inspiration. If I have to pick one reason why blogging should be a mandatory part of LA101H, that would be it.
Stolen
I had a hard time revising this post because honestly, I thought most of it belonged. I made a couple changes in regards to grammar, punctuation, and word choice, but otherwise, the only other change is the last couple sentences in the bottom paragraph. I felt that I had more of a message to send. The idea that writing takes wing if you write about your passions has been completely ingrained in my brain at this point. Forced emotion fools no one, and you can tell when someone's words are powered by true inspiration. If I have to pick one reason why blogging should be a mandatory part of LA101H, that would be it.
